


A Long-Ass Night

by mylifeincoffeespoons



Category: NCT (Band), SM Rookies
Genre: Jealous Mark, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 19:59:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10997940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mylifeincoffeespoons/pseuds/mylifeincoffeespoons
Summary: Mark, while writing his journal, tries to figure out his feelings for Donghyuck once and for all, because honestly, Yukhei has no business calling Donghyuck his, regardless of context.





	A Long-Ass Night

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! It's really nice to meet you all, and I hope you all enjoy reading this!

In the midst of promotions for their new comeback, Mark finally admits that there is something going on with him at exactly one in the morning, surrounded by his fellow members in a car heading back to their dorm. Most of the members are asleep, including Winwin next to him who is bundled up in a blanket and pillow that he leaves in their van all the time now. The van is quiet except for a few whispers and scuttling. In front of him, he can tell that Ten hyung and Johnny hyung were not asleep, their heads moving up and down naturally as they whispered to each other. But what was really catching Mark’s interest was a pair at the very back. He had seen them through the rearview mirror. Donghyuck was asleep, and he was leaning on Yukhei, his head on Yukhei’s shoulder. That wasn’t odd in itself. Donghyuck could fall asleep on anyone, after all, everyone encouraged it since falling asleep with his head on the window would only hurt his neck. What was really bothering Mark, what made his fingers twitch and his jaw lock, was that Yukhei’s arm was wrapped around Donghyuck’s shoulder, and his torso leaning towards Donghyuck in such a way that they were almost spooning. Not quite, but close enough.

It would’ve been less bothersome if Yukhei was also asleep. Then, he could claim to be unaware of what he was doing, at the mercy of his unconsciousness. But he was on his phone, the light illuminating his face against the otherwise dark car. His obvious concentration on his phone irritated Mark, too--as if he’d forgotten their position as if it was no big deal that he was basically cuddling Donghyuck while Donghyuck was asleep. Mark can’t fully put into words why it bothered him, just like he couldn’t put into words why he sometimes insists that Mark sit next to Donghyuck rather than Yukhei, going so far as intercepting them in line when Mark had previously been with the other members. So far, no one seemed to notice anything, or think anything was amiss, which was why Mark could shrug it off easily. But right now, trapped in this car with the unchanging image of Donghyuck and Yukhei right there, Mark felt himself bristling, restless, his mind turning blank and then chaotic at turns. Why didn’t he insist Donghyuck sit next to him? He hadn’t even noticed that they sat next to each other, too preoccupied with recounting something Jisung and Jeno were bickering about to Jaehyun hyung.

When they finally arrived at the dorm, Mark pinched his thigh and heaved a breath. His face probably looked a bit weird, because Johnny hyung looked at him curiously as they went down one by one. However, that was nothing to how Mark’s face changed when he noticed--Yukhei was carrying a still sleeping Donghyuck.

Bridal style.

Mark could feel his face erupting like a volcano, an alien scowl appearing on his usual happy face. Johnny hyung had definitely noticed too if his hand on Mark’s shoulder was anything to go by.  
Before he could think better of it, Mark marched up to Yukhei and said, “I’ll carry him back to our room.”

Yukhei must’ve seen it was a gesture of goodwill because he laughed and said, “Nah, man, I’ve got him. Anyway, he’d be a bit heavy for you, you know?”

Mark knew that this was in jest since they both have joked a hundred times about their height and body difference despite being the same age. It was a topic that was actually open to all the NCT members since Mark never seemed to take offense to the good-natured ribbing. But Yukhei had never used it in this context, as if his weight and height was an advantage that justified him carrying Donghyuck to their room, even when Mark has carried (granted, on his back) a worn-out or passed out Donghyuck hundreds of times before.

Noticing that Mark wasn’t laughing with him or moving, Yukhei shuffled a bit, unsure if he was supposed to just move aside and walk inside without him. Mark’s face, which was hard to see with the lack of light, didn’t seem to show any clues. Most of the hyungs had already trooped inside, aside from Johnny hyung who was behind Mark and Ten hyung who was on his phone but looked up from time to time to see if Johnny hyung was headed inside yet.

“Hey, um, can we get inside? My arm’s going a bit numb, you know.”

At that Mark automatically put his hands up, clearly ready to relieve Yukhei of Donghyuck, “Here, give him to me.”

Yukhei paused, taken aback, then glanced at Johnny hyung. From behind Mark, he heard Johnny hyung sigh, then said, “Here, let me get him Yukhei. Get inside now.”

Mark watched as Yukhei passed Donghyuck to Johnny hyung, carefully supporting his head. The look on Yukhei’s face as he checked Donghyuck’s state made Mark want to snap at him to go inside, but he knew he could never.

When Yukhei had gone back inside after giving Mark a weird look, Johnny hyung turned to him and said, “I know it’s a bit new to you, but there are hyungs who can take care of Donghyuck like you can. And if you really don’t like it, then you’ve got some other things to figure out first. Alright?”

He didn’t wait for Mark’s response, going in with Donghyuck in his arms. Ten hyung looked up from where he had been leaning on the door waiting but didn’t come in until Mark also went inside, ruffling Mark’s hair as he passed. Whether he already knew what was going on by eavesdropping or decided to remain oblivious, Mark wasn’t sure, but if Johnny hyung knew then Ten hyung probably did, too.  
As soon as Johnny hyung closed the door to their room, Mark got up and went about pulling Donghyuck’s socks and jacket off him. Donghyuck was a notoriously heavy sleeper, not even stirring when Jisung had grabbed his blanket too hard and he fell unto the floor. Mark had scolded Jisung for it, but since Donghyuck hadn’t gotten up Jisung had just rolled his eyes and went outside for breakfast. Usually, Mark would shake Donghyuck awake, along with playing one of those Michael Jackson songs that Donghyuck loves. That only worked for the weekdays, on the weekends Donghyuck (somehow) became more reticent and his eyes wouldn’t even show signs of shifting until noon.

As Mark wrote in his journal and prepared for bed, he knew he should apologize to Yukhei for his behavior. Yukhei didn’t do anything wrong, really, it was just that Mark was used to Donghyuck latching unto him, or if not him then he usually stayed by himself, writing in his notebook, something that became more frequent since the scandal with his fans broke out. Donghyuck had definitely stopped pranking the other members so often and spent more time by himself, sometimes not even doing anything, just sitting lost in thought. It was only in this comeback when Yukhei debuted, did Donghyuck start participating more, usually at Yukhei’s insistence or encouragement. Mark was thankful, for sure, but that wasn’t the only thing he felt. Whatever it was, though, he worked hard to not dissect it and not let it affect his behavior, because it was unprofessional and no one deserved to be the receiving end of Mark’s confusing feelings.

The thing is, he knows that he can feel a bit possessive over Donghyuck. It’s never been something he acted on, or even really thought about. Donghyuck was his little brother, the first one he was responsible for when he debuted for the first time in 127. Being in charge of someone was, for Mark, life-changing. Sure, he had to direct Jeno and the others at Mickey Mouse club, but not to this extent. If anything happened to Donghyuck, on camera or off camera, the hyungs and their teachers would consult Mark first. The responsibility had been welcome, at the time, and he wanted to rise to the occasion, an attitude that had lead to him being the leader of his own unit. Still, Donghyuck was his first, and he figured that his feelings were just a part of that, the way the hyungs would fight over who Mark’s favorite hyung was. It was normal. Funny, even. The Dream kids definitely found it funny, at least, when Mark and Donghyuck paired up for missions or spoke on behalf of each other.

There was one time, not long after Jaemin had gone on hiatus due to his injury, that his possessiveness acted beyond his control. Since they were now six, it was easy to pair up and usually in order to get to know the others better Mark would switch it up. However, when Donghyuck would express his desire to be teammates, Mark never said no. It didn’t happen often enough, anyway. One such time, MC Ari had stopped the filming and Donghyuck had been taken aside by their manager. The others hadn’t seemed worried since a stylist noona had also started retouching Donghyuck’s make up, so they brushed it off as that. Jeno had been the one to shove Mark slightly, gesturing to them, and Mark who had previously worried but didn’t want to bring any attention to it by going over there decided to at least come close enough to make it obvious that he was waiting for them to finish. However, he did end up being able to hear a bit of their conversation.

“I’m not saying you need to avoid Mark, that would look strange, but you definitely shouldn’t approach him as much as you’ve been before. You’re already together during 127 promotions anyway, so let others establish their friendships with Mark on-camera, okay? It’s for the fans.”

Donghyuck had been looking down at the floor, nodding his head every time manager-hyung said the word okay. Donghyuck was facing away from him, so he couldn’t see his face, but Mark could only imagine what kind of expression Donghyuck was sporting. In the end, he cracked a joke that made manager-hyung laugh and pat his back.

When he turned around, he made eye contact with Mark, but before Mark could say anything Donghyuck had walked off, joining the other. He chose Chenle to be his partner.

Mark couldn’t really explain what it was that bothered him then. He knows that their interactions in front of the camera were monitored and regulated, and he knows manager-hyung made sense when he explained why Donghyuck shouldn’t stick too close to Mark. But it irritated him. It wasn’t like Donghyuck was purposely doing anything, he didn’t even choose Mark that often. And anyway, what were they expecting when they put Donghyuck into 127? Of course, Mark would be closer to Donghyuck. It was natural.

In the days that followed Mark had been oddly stubborn about staying by Donghyuck’s side, even to the point that Donghyuck would raise his eyebrows in question, though never pointing it out. Finally, their manager had asked Mark to stand at the end of the line, next to Jeno, and Mark had said with an easygoing smile, “If it’s alright, I’d like to stay here.” Their manager had seemed blindsided by that reply, since Mark had never come even close to saying no to anyone older than him, always ready to follow and trust that they knew what they were saying. In the end, they did get to stay next to each other, not that it mattered since Donghyuck wouldn’t even glance at Mark’s direction, even when he was saying something, making it unclear who exactly he was addressing.

The topic was clearly quite big with the Dream kids because by the time they went to the dorms all the hyungs knew about it and gave various reactions and opinions. For the most part, it was a warning not to do it again, because it would only cause Mark to get in unnecessary trouble. After that, however, everyone seemed to take it in good fun, joking about Mark and Donghyuck’s closeness. Jaehyun hyung, in particular, liked to insinuate something between them, saying something about how Mark always wanted Donghyuck close. Then again, Jaehyun hyung loved encouraging ships between members, so it was probably just that and nothing else.

Mark didn’t do it again and they kept the usual distance on camera, though off-camera Mark felt that there was something happening that he wasn’t really aware of. He knew Donghyuck was insecure about his place in 127, even though he was the maknae he wasn’t particularly good at anything (not that Mark agreed to this) and in comparison to Mark, who was commercialized as the golden boy for debuting thrice and then for his rapping. Donghyuck never brought it up with him, probably because he thought that Mark would feel bad about it, which he did. Anyway, Mark didn’t really have time to talk to Donghyuck properly (or anyone, really) when he was preparing for High School Rapper. He felt like the days were just too quick, the hours too short, for him to do everything he needed to do. He didn’t think about it again until Jaemin brought it up when Mark was visiting him to update him on the schedules they’ve done.

“You know, it’s good for Donghyuck to not be around you so much,” he had suddenly said out of nowhere when they had been talking about a recent fanmeet.

“...What do you mean?”

“It’s just, you know, you’re kinda special, hyung,” Jaemin said with his usual pretty smile, “don’t deny it, we’re all special but you’re different. People pay attention to you. And it’s great, you know, but the problem is that the people around you tend to fade into the background. Unless they’re like Taeyong hyung, who just physically can’t do that.”

“So I’m overshadowing Donghyuck?” It’s not like it was a revelation, Mark knows that people hardly ever mention Donghyuck debuting twice as if it wasn’t a big deal too or that Mark was known as the golden maknae when Donghyuck was the actual youngest.

“That’s harsher than what I would use, I think,” Jaemin tucked his knees behind his chin, “more like, Donghyuck isn’t as encouraged to get better at things when there’s no competition in the first place? Or something like that.”

“Donghyuck's good at a lot of things, like variety and singing. He’d never beat me at those.”

“Yeah, of course,” Jaemin tucks his hair behind his ear, glancing at his phone when a message from Jeno comes in, “but no one expects him to be the best. Not even himself, at this point.”

Even after the conversation drifts to other things, Mark can’t help coming back to those words, and how Jaemin had looked slightly apologetic at him as if he was breaking some bad news to Mark that he hadn’t initially wanted to. Mark didn’t know how Jaemin thought he’d be affected by his words, aside from the guilt of not being able to help Donghyuck somehow. Mark himself didn’t know, aside from feeling like he’d failed Donghyuck as his hyung, pressuring him into something he didn’t want.

When the filming for High School Rapper ended, Mark had felt like his days slowed remarkably, in a way that jolted him when he didn’t have to get up so early or had a night free. Donghyuck, who had supported him throughout the filming by always cheering for Mark (in a backwards, snide way, of course) and keeping the Dream kids in line when Mark was too tired to even think straight. He remembered how Donghyuck would bring in his meals, putting them on the desk without a word as Mark focused on writing raps. He had wanted to show his appreciation and gratitude and thought he could take Donghyuck out for the day when they were both free, treat him to a meal.

That was the plan, at least, but when he had asked Donghyuck, Chenle had overheard and went off to tell the others, and soon everyone wanted to come with them, insisting that Mark should pay for all their meals since that was what he really wanted anyway (verified by his last rap) and Mark, exasperated had told them they could go another time.

Donghyuck, however, shook his head and said, “We should take them. They haven’t seen you relax in a while, you know. It’d be good for their nerves to see you having fun.”

Mark was a bit speechless about Donghyuck’s reaction and somehow got the feeling that Donghyuck, too, had learned and grown without him during the months of filming. It was strange, how they could live together and be near each other almost every day and still live such separate lives. It had made Mark feel a tinge of sadness, at the thought of Donghyuck maturing without Mark to see it. Before, Donghyuck hated any remarks about growing up or becoming more adult, because the hyungs always teased him about it and Donghyuck didn’t see why he couldn’t act his age, even if he was an idol. So what if he didn’t always consider how the others felt when saying or doing things? Donghyuck had never been particularly thoughtful or observant. In the Dream unit, though, Donghyuck had started showing initiative and responsibility for the others, especially the ones younger than him. It was a slow process, but to think that it had reached this extent amazed Mark.

Mark ended up sneaking a second cone of ice cream for Donghyuck when no one was looking, although Donghyuck had rolled his eyes and told Mark that a good leader never shows obvious favoritism. Mark ignored that because they both know that regardless of how many dongsaengs Mark gets over the years, Donghyuck would always be his favorite.

Things had been good until Donghyuck’s scandal broke out. It wasn’t anywhere as big as Taeyong hyung’s, thankfully, but it definitely did a number on not just Donghyuck but the whole group. Jisung had gotten so upset over some of the comments that he asked Winwin hyung to make a fake account and denounce everything that they were saying. Winwin hyung had asked Yuta hyung for help but was dissuaded by Jaehyun hyung who overheard them.

Both 127 and Dream members were called for a meeting, where they were briefed on the situation and instructed not to answer to anything, not to mention anything. It was the same situation when Taeyong hyung’s scandal broke out, except not as official since none of them had debuted yet. Taeyong hyung had sat close to Donghyuck, a show of support and protection that the members understood and the management ignored. Later, when Donghyuck was asked to stay while everyone left, Donghyuck had looked so pale Mark worried he would pass out.

Donghyuck had stayed in bed all day after that, not even coming out when Doyoung hyung mentioned listening to Night Night, which Donghyuck usually did. Mark had brought him food to his bedside and tried to get him to talk, but Donghyuck shrugged him off and ignored him until Mark gave up.

Finally, a few nights after it happened, while Mark was doing homework and Donghyuck had been lying on his bed, he asked Mark, “Is it my fault?”

Mark looked to where Donghyuck laid, his back to him, and wishes that Donghyuck would look at him, or anyone really, at the eye already.

“No. It’s not.”

“How can you be sure?”

“You didn’t bake anyone a cake, Donghyuck. You also didn’t contact any of the fans outside of fan meetings. They’re all rumors.”  
“But I talked to them more than I should’ve,” Donghyuck’s voice wavered, sounding close to tears, “manager-hyung told us not to, but I didn’t see any harm in talking to them. They weren’t sasaengs. They just wanted to say hi.”

“There’s nothing wrong with what you’ve done, Donghyuck,” Mark made sure to keep his voice firm, looking at Donghyuck’s prone figure, how his shoulders hunched with vulnerability, “these fans just want some drama. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Taeyong hyung was affected too. Apparently, I said something about him having a bad personality, to the fan I was talking to.”

“You weren’t talking to anyone. And Taeyong hyung’s an easy target, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was one of his haters doing this to drag his name again. Stop reading the comments.”

At this, Donghyuck sat up, turning to Mark with red eyes and pale lips. He looked so tired. Mark ached for him.

“I can’t, hyung. I can’t stop reading them.”

Mark stood up, prying Donghyuck’s phone from his clenched fingers. It was on a forum. He tossed it onto his bed, ignoring Donghyuck’s protests, and got into bed.

“You have to try and sleep now. Please. I’ll stay here with you until then.”

Donghyuck looks at him, and their eyes meet properly for what feels like the first time in a long time. Mark does his best to communicate how worried he is, and how much he wants Donghyuck to get better. No one’s blaming him. The hyungs only tip toe around him because they’re not used to such a despondent Donghyuck, one who didn’t joke around or laugh everything off. They don’t know Donghyuck to know what would make him feel better, or worse because Donghyuck had never opened up to them like that. Only to Mark.

When Donghyuck closes his eyes, Mark brings him close and strokes his arm rhythmically. He remembers back when they were trainees, when Donghyuck would nap in the training room, he’d do the exact same thing, encouraging him to get as much as sleep as he could, even if for only 5 minutes. He was so stubborn about it, too, like Taeyong hyung, who Jaehyun hyung had to force to stay in his lap, trapping him with his arms until he, too, slept.

Since then, Donghyuck had slowly gotten better, though he had never gone back to how he was before the scandal. Still, everyone kept watch and encouraged him in their own ways, and Mark had done his best to be a good hyung. And finally, with the next comeback, the first comeback of 2017, with Hansol hyung and Yukhei debuting, it was business as usual.

That was until Mark noticed how close Yukhei and Donghyuck had been getting. It was definitely not overnight since Donghyuck hadn’t really known or interacted with Yukhei prior to his debut. Still, their personalities clicked well, and Yukhei would sometimes say something snarky that Mark is sure Donghyuck had asked him to say for him, and when it got a good reaction Yukhei would nudge Donghyuck a bit and Donghyuck would laugh. It seemed as if Yukhei was simply on the same wavelength as Donghyuck, something Mark could never claim because of how different his and Donghyuck’s personalities were. He could tell, before Mark, when Donghyuck needed help, connecting Donghyuck’s trailing off with his own answer, or when Donghyuck fumbled a bit, Yukhei would come and instruct him while Mark was playing around with the other hyungs and could even think to check on Donghyuck. In one interview, when asked about how Yukhei felt about debuting, he said he was so happy to be with his hyungs and to have his very own dongsaeng to spoil. The members had cooed and Donghyuck had given Yukhei a thumbs up, adding that he also loved being spoiled by his new hyung. Everyone had laughed, including Mark, though no one knew that Mark’s was forced.

The real issue is, and here Mark had started to hold his pen a bit tightly, he didn’t think anyone could claim Donghyuck as theirs. Not when he was, in an unsaid, covert way, Mark’s. Mark was the one the hyungs went to when they thought there might be something going on with Donghyuck. Mark was the one that manager-hyung had instructed to look after Donghyuck. Mark was the one the Dream kids went to when they wanted to tattle on Donghyuck being too mean, too snarky. Just because Yukhei had become good at handling Donghyuck didn’t mean he could really take care of him. That was Mark’s job. No one else’s.

He remembered Johnny hyung’s words, “if you really don’t like it, then you’ve got some things to figure out, right?” He was right. If Mark wanted to do something, he had to make sense of his feelings and his reasons for doing it first. And only then can he decide how to go about his relationship with Donghyuck.

He can do this. Mark may be a bit dense but he was honest about his feelings when the time came, and he never waited long enough to risk anyone getting hurt. Definitely not Donghyuck.

As he closed his journal and put it into his closet, he took a sticky note to remind himself to buy a lock for his journal. He hadn’t really been concerned about anyone reading it before, but then he had been feeling territorial lately. Some things were his, and sometimes he had to make it clear to everyone else too, just in case.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really totally sure of my characterization of Mark, but personality-wise we're pretty similar so I went with my gut. Donghyuck is pretty passive here, I think I'd never believe him to be that passive in real life, I just focused more on Mark's development and POV. I'm also sorry that none of the other characters really talked much or did anything. I didn't tag the other couples I'm into because they're barely there, but kudos to you if you noticed the Johnten, Jaeno and Jaeyong! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it, or if you didn't that it wasn't a total waste of time lol I'm sorry. Please leave a kudos or a comment!


End file.
